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Losing Julie...
Tue, 01/25/2011 - 00:40 | 
Glenda Standeven Here it is - three days since Julie passed away and I don't even know where to begin. It's hard to put into words the depth of loss so many of us are feeling. Julie was such an inspiration to so many - she was a 'take charge' person who never backed away from a challenge. When the doctors gave her 18 months to 2 years to live after her diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer she said, "No, I don't accept that."
She decided she had too much left to do and needed more time than they were giving her. She used those extra years wisely and left a legacy of hope for every person who reads her story. She chose to smile right up until the end. We laughed when, even though she could no longer speak, she still managed to shoot Graham (her husband) 'The Look' when he was teasing her. It was such an honour to witness the love connection between the two of them - especially on her last night with us. Julie fought so long and with such optimism.
Michelle and I went in on Tuesday afternoon, January 18th, for a visit and Julie was hoping we might just manage one more 'Survivor Dinner' at the Hospice Centre on Sunday. She was coherent and still anticipating the future. Of course we were all hopeful the dinner would happen but by the next day the reality of her situation was evident as she slipped in and out of sleep more often. She loved her friends and she adored her family. Although so many people loved Julie and vice-versa at the end of her cancer journey she had limited her visits to immediate family only along with Michelle and myself - and we were so happy to be considered her 'soul' sisters. It was very fitting that her last night was spent with her amazing family - husband Graham, son Paul, daughter-in-law Mel, grand-daughter Abby, and her friends, Michelle and I.
The love in her room was tangible. Sometimes, when we spoke to her, she would open her eyes - look at us as if to say, "Yes, I see you - I know you love me..." then she would close her eyes again. I think I will miss those incredible blue eyes more than you can imagine. They truly were windows into her soul. It is so hard to say goodbye and I think Julie knew that more than most. At the end, after a 15 hour vigil, about 7:10am, I whispered into her ear that I loved her and that Michelle and I were just stepping into the kitchen to make a pot of tea. Abby and Mel came with us. The wonderful staff at the Cascade Hospice Centre came in to adjust her position in the bed and, with Graham holding her and son Paul holding her hand, Abby and Mel came back into the room and our 'little Julie' left this world knowing she was well and truly loved on Friday, January 21st, at 7:20am.
A light has left our world but I know that heaven shines a lot brighter with her in it. I asked Julie to 'save us a place' and I know she will - we'll be with her soon enough and, although we've all shed many tears with her leaving, I know that Julie would be the first to say, "Okay, that's enough - now it's time you were all 'choosing to smile' when you think of me." So, that's what we're doing - every day we remember - every day I smile with memories of Julie and how unique and special she was to me. I am blessed to have had her share my life journey and she will always be part of who I am today. Julie, I love you - save a place for me! (But not anytime too soon if that's okay - time passes so quickly my friends; we'll all be together again before we know it!)
Julie's Celebration of Life Service will be held on Saturday, February 5th, at 1:00pm at The Best Western Hotel in Chilliwack. It would be wonderful if guests would come prepared to share their favourite 'Julie' story during the open mic session and/or write out their favourite memory for the family to treasure and read at a later date.
Copyright 2009 to ChoosingToSmile.com
Loosing Julie
I'm so sorry that we have lost such a beautiful 'earth Angel'. I had the pleasure of meeting all three of you at the Abbotsford Relay for Life.
Being one of a billion to survive stomach cancer, I also 100% agree 'choosing to smile' helps the struggles associated with SURVIVING what ever hurtles life sends us.
Words can't convey how deeply it hit me of Julie's passing. I too, remember her beautiful eyes, but as they say '' the eyes are the window to the soul '' and hers was so pure and beautiful.
God bless you all and her family. I hope to connect up with you again in the near future.
Peace Love and Joy always,
Millie
Losing Julie
I just finished reading the book "Choosing to Smile". I too am a breast cancer 'thriver' who dragon boat paddles and our team has the "Choosing to Smile" link on our Team Pages. I knew the link was there but only went into it today after finishing the book to see if there was any further information on Julie. I was deeply saddened to read that she passed away in January!
Thanks for writing the book and sharing, with the world, your incredible life journeys.
May God Bless you and continue to Smile Upon You!
Losing Julie
A dear friend in Langley recently sent me a copy of "Choosing to Smile".
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in NOvember 2010 and found the book such an inspiration. Tonight I finished the last page and saw the websites in the epilogue so decided to look them up, not realizing that Julie had died on Jan 21st. I am so sorry for your loss and that of her family and thank all of you for showing me there is life after cancer.
Karen, Saskatoon SK
Life after cancer...
Hi Karen is Saskatoon!
Our little Julie was very blessed to have been able to use those extra years to write a book, travel, and make loads of wonderful memories with her family and friends. She would be the first to say, "Let's have fun!" and wish you well on your cancer journey.
Keep us posted Karen and I wish you health and happiness as you continue choosing to smile...
PS - Do you know any of the Solie boys in Saskatoon? They are all my relatives! :)
Julie
Never had the opportunity to meet her...but through her story I felt I knew her just a little... and yes I will continue to smile for her Karen Stirling
keep smiling....
Thanks Karen!
Julie had a smile that could light a room (and it often did!) ... I'm so glad you're going to keep smiling for her!
good-bye to a inspirational woman!
The 'Choosing to Smile' gang came and spoke at my eWomen Network event last summer in Surrey. We were motivated and inspired by all three amazing women and their stories. At that time, it became clear that Julie was back to fighting her personal war with breast cancer. Her of hope message hit home all the more...
Julie inspired us all to keep going, to believe we can win and to love every moment of the gift of life. Her beauty, her smile and her voice will be missed.
My thoughts are with her family and her 'Choosing to Smile' buddies as you learn to live with just her memory.
I feel blessed to have known her for a short while.
Pamela Chatry
eWomen Network Vancouver
Missing Julie...
Thanks Pamela - Julie had so much fun that day with your eWomen's Network group - thank you for giving us that special memory!
Glenda and Michelle, you are
Glenda and Michelle, you are an inspiration to all of us to carry on. Julie was a huge part of our team, and we will miss her so much. Elaine & Spirit Abreast
Spirit Abreast
Hi Elaine and Spirit Abreast Team members...
It was such an honour to see the love and support you showered on our Julie - she was so blessed to be part of the team and the team in return were so blessed to have her. Thanks for being such a special part of her life - your friendships meant the world to her.
Thinking of all of you....
Thank you Glenda and Michelle for being there for Julie and her family at this time. She's been such an inspiration for so many for so long. I can smile thinking about her. Kory
Smile...
Thank you Kory - Julie would be so happy to know that thinking of her makes you smile! What a lovely legacy to leave.
What a lovely, tender and
What a lovely, tender and heart-warming tribute to Julie. These beautiful words will bring comfort to Julie's loved ones.
I feel very very sorry for your big loss!
Glenda and Michelle: I don't know what to say. You ladies are the one of the biggest inspiration in my life and so is Julie. Choosing to Smile! You chose to smile even though you suffered. I sometimes think that I have faced a lot of problems in my life, but I found that my problems are just ashes to compare to what you went through. I am very honored to be around people like you. I am very sad to know about Julie. Maybe I am very bad at responding to death. I found it very hard to cry, but inside of me, I am very sad. After reading the book, what an inspiration you gave me. Ladies, I know that Julie is gone, but she is still here. I keep on looking at her picture on the website and see her beautiful smile because she CHOSE to. All of you chose to smile although it is hard. I want to tell you that you and Julie will always be my inspiration, even though Julie is gone, but she will always be my gladiator and the knight who did fight for others to smile. Baraa
Losing Julie...
You are an amazing source of strength with compassion Glenda. Thank you for sharing Julie's last moments with us. You are giving comfort to so many of her friends as they read your blog. God bless you. - Trish and Gary
Very heartwarming
Very heartwarming Glenda.....this truly brings life to the notion that we must always live today as it was going to be our last.
Absoloutely beautiful
Absoloutely beautiful Glenda...Julie was my cousin and I used to catch up with what Julie and her two sisters and brother were up to via my Auntie Marie (Julie's mum). Last year I was blessed to 'find' Julie on Facebook and on the Choosing to Smile website and to chat with her and catch up with our families over the last 10 months!
I have read the book you all wrote and it made me both laugh and cry, it must be such an inspiration to fellow sufferers!
Thankyou again for such a beautiful 'blog'.. I hope you all felt the 'Love' that was being sent from the UK for Julie, Graham, Paul, Mel and Abby! xx
Good bye to Julie
Julie - I only knew you for a short time, but your grace and humour will stay with me always. It was an honour to know you. Wendy